Five days post op and I still haven't been to the loo. Is this normal or should I be worried?

Sorry in advance for the TMI, but I'm five days out from vaginoplasty and I have not had a single bowel movement since before surgery and I'm starting to properly worry about it.

I feel bloated and heavy and a bit sick, and the honest truth is I'm SCARED to actually go, because everything down there is fresh and stitched and the idea of straining anywhere near it makes me want to cry. So even when I get the smallest urge I sort of... talk myself out of it? Which I know is probably making it worse. The painkillers are the strong ones and I've read those can bung you up but nobody warned me it would be this total.

Is five days normal after an operation like this or is that too long? At what point does "your body's just slow after surgery" become "ring someone"? I don't want to make a fuss over a poo but I also feel genuinely awful and I don't know what's the anaesthetic, what's the painkillers, and what's me being too frightened to try.

Oh you are not making a fuss, this is THE unglamorous thing nobody prints on the aftercare sheet and it floored me too. Mine didn't move properly until about day six and I remember the exact bloated, queasy misery you're describing.

Two things that helped once I stopped fighting it: water, constantly, more than felt reasonable, and small gentle movement, just shuffling to the window and back on repeat rather than lying flat all day, because lying still lets everything stall. And the fear of straining is real but there are ways round it that your team can talk you through, so please don't just silently endure. When I finally rang my nurse about it she was completely matter of fact, like this was the tenth call that week, which it probably was. Ring them today, seriously, this is squarely their job.

Different procedure (top surgery) so take with salt, but the anaesthetic-plus-painkiller combo did the exact same thing to me and I was totally unprepared for it. For me it was more the nausea and having zero appetite for about four days, so I was barely eating, which of course meant nothing much was going to happen anyway. Once I forced down some proper food and drank like it was my job, things slowly woke back up. The fog of "is this surgery or is this the drugs" is so real in that first week.

Rosa, thank you for asking this plainly, because it is one of the most common things after surgery and one of the least talked about, and knowing the mechanism takes a lot of the fear out of it.

The direct answer: a gut that has not moved for a few days after an operation is expected far more often than not, and on its own it is usually not an emergency. What is driving it is a stack of things at once. A general anaesthetic temporarily slows the whole bowel. The stronger painkillers, the opioid-type ones such as codeine and morphine, reduce gut movement directly, which is called opioid-induced constipation and is one of their most reliable side effects. Add eating and drinking less than usual, plus lying still, plus, in your case, a very understandable fear of straining near fresh surgery, and a stalled bowel is almost the default rather than a warning sign. It is common for things not to move for the first 3 to 5 days.

What it depends on, and where the honest ranges sit: teams usually expect the bowel to wake up within roughly the first week and will often have started something preventive, stool softeners and gentle laxatives, precisely so it does not reach this point. If you have not been given anything for it, that is exactly the call to make today, and the fear of straining is itself a reason to ask, because softening the stool is what removes the need to strain. Please do not silently endure it and please do not push hard against fresh tissue.

The exceptions that change this from "slow, ring in normal hours" to "ring now": no bowel movement combined with vomiting, a hard swollen distended abdomen, not passing any wind at all, or severe or worsening tummy pain. That picture can point to the bowel stalling more seriously, sometimes called an ileus, and it wants prompt assessment rather than waiting for the next appointment. Short of that, ring your team today, tell them the day count and that you feel sick and bloated, and let them sort the softeners and the technique with you. Our guide to the first week after surgery sets out why these early days feel the way they do. Mentioning this is not making a fuss; we genuinely want to be asked.

Update, and relief. I rang them that morning like you all said and the nurse was exactly as un-shocked as Mara promised. Turns out I'd been under-using the softener they'd sent me home with because I hadn't understood what it was for, so that got sorted, plus a lot more water and forcing down actual meals instead of picking. It moved this morning and I have never in my life been so pleased about something so ordinary. Nobody warned me but now this thread exists, so the next terrified person at day five can find it. Thank you.

Bookmarking this from the waiting room side (mine's in August). I had freezer meals, cushions and a grabber on my list and precisely zero plan for THIS. Adding water bottle, softeners to ask about at pre-op, and "do not be a hero about straining" to the notes. Rosa you're doing the whole community a service one honest post at a time.